What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
