Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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