this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
