True but thats because hes a fetus.
We are two peas in an std pod
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
