No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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