Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
