the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
birth control should be required to get into college
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
