We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
