ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
