I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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