I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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