I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
