Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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