hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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