she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
