So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
