absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
