I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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