i think my tv is drunk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
