Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
