so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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