So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
