Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
