i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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