AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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