google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
40s are totally the cure
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
