Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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