I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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