But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
