Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This is classic penis vs brain.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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