omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
