This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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