Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
