She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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