your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
