you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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