He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
