Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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