Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
