as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
