i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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