i would punch a child for taco bell
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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