I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
