I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
