he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
