I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
