garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
