I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
