They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pants are for mortals
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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