i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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