Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
